Pilot/Transcript
Cast (in order of appearance): Yami, Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Kaiba, Téa, Grandpa, Mokuba, Pegasus Date: July 14, 2006 Running Time: 3:55 Transcript (Intro) YAMI: Yu-Gi-Oh! was filmed before a live studio audience. (School) YUGI: Hey Joey! Earth to Joey! Hey, are you in there? It's your move! JOEY: Sorry, Yug, doing this Brooklyn accent makes it difficult to concentrate on card games. TRISTAN: I know what you mean, my voice is pretty crazy too! I'm thinking about changing it. YUGI: By the way, my grandpa has a super rare card. TRISTAN: Groovy! JOEY: Hey, bada-bing! KAIBA: (thinking) Rare card? That sounds vague enough to be the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. And since I'm a child billionaire in charge of a huge gaming company, I obviously have nothing better to do than go check it out. (Title sequence only) (Game shop) YUGI: Hey Gramps, can we please see your super-rare-awesome-chocolaty-fudge-coated-mega-super-card? GRANDPA: I don't see why not. Here it is, the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. (holds up the card) JOEY: That's the least threatening name for a monster I've ever heard. What kind of mook could want a card like that? KAIBA: (pushes the others aside) I'm here for your Blue-Eyes, old man, and I won't take "no" for an answer! Now give it to me! GRANDPA: No! KAIBA: Curses, foiled again! I'm going to go hire some thugs to kidnap you now. I'm a billionaire, so nobody will even think about pressing charges. (leaves) GRANDPA: That Kaiba kid needs to get laid. TRISTAN: Big time! (Later) YUGI: (on the phone) Hello, Game shop! KAIBA: (on the phone) I kidnapped your grandpa, Yugi, and then I dueled him into submission. So could you get over here and call an ambulance for him? I have far too much money to be expected to do it myself. (hangs up) YUGI: Wait, who is this? (Kaiba's Duel Arena) YUGI: (runs over to injured Grandpa) Grandpa! Are you okay? GRANDPA: For some reason, playing a card game has caused me to become severely injured. KAIBA: That's right! And now, watch this! (tears Blue-Eyes card in half) YUGI: Grandpa's special super-rare-awesome-super-card! JOEY: What the heck did you do that for? KAIBA: So that it could never be used against me! YUGI: In that case, why not just tear up every card in the whole world? KAIBA: (quickly) Shut up and duel me! YUGI: Don't worry, Gramps, I'll win this duel with your deck! GRANDPA: W-Wait a minute! I've been injured, so you're going to steal my deck and go play cards with your arch rival? YUGI: (takes Grandpa's deck) Pretty much. GRANDPA: No wonder your parents are never around! TÉA: (holding a marker) Gather round everyone, and I'll mark us with a special sign! (draws a smiley face on her, Yugi's, Joey's, and Tristan's hands) JOEY: Uh, Téa, hey, not for nothing but...ain't this permanent marker? TÉA: Oh... Whoops! JOEY: Why were you even carrying that thing around in the first place? TÉA: I'm a kleptomaniac, I stole it from school. TRISTAN: Hey, my wallet's missing! TÉA: (points to Kaiba) Kaiba took it! YAMI: It's time to duel! KAIBA: Wait, did your testicles just drop in the last five seconds or something? What the heck happened to your voice? (A hologram of Hitotsu-Me Giant appears in the middle of the duel field) YAMI: Holy Ra, real monsters! KAIBA: Actually, they're just super-advanced holograms created for the sole purpose of enriching the experience of a children's card game! YAMI: Okay, seriously, you've got to be bleeping kidding me. Who wastes all their money on something like that? KAIBA: The guy who's going to beat your pasty pharaoh butt with three Blue-Eyes White Dragons, that's who! (summons three Blue-Eyes White Dragons) YAMI: Wait a minute, did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn? KAIBA: Yeah, so? YAMI: That's against the rules, isn't it? KAIBA: Screw the rules, I have money! Now draw your last pathetic card, Yugi, so I can finish you! YAMI: My Grandpa's deck has no pathetic cards, Kaiba. Except maybe for Kuriboh... but it also has this! (holds up ''Exodia the Forbidden One card)'' The unstoppable Exodia! KAIBA: Aah! Exodia! It's not possible! Nobody's ever been able to summon him! YAMI: Really? Is that because it's so rare? KAIBA: No, it's because this game makes no sense. Nobody could figure out how to do it. YAMI: Nobody except me! Exodia, obliterate! (Exodia destroys Blue-Eyes White Dragons) MOKUBA: Big brother, is it time for my cameo yet? KAIBA: How... How could you summon Exodia? YAMI: Kaiba, if you really wish to know...then talk to the hand! (mind-crushes Kaiba) KAIBA: Aaaaahhh! (faints) (Hospital) GRANDPA: (wakes up) I wet myself. (Pegasus's Castle) HENCHMAN: Mr. Pegasus, sir, it seems the reigning ''Duel Monsters'' champion has been defeated by someone named Yugi. Also, it's time for your sponge bath. PEGASUS: Mmm... (End; Redux version only: "I'm Back!" (Kaiba Theme) plays) CAPTIONS: feel like you're experiencing deja vu? at least I didn't make [[wikipedia:Han shot first|greedo shoot first]] (Stinger) YUGI: (with Master Shake's voice) Hey hey, fun time! Goofin' off Martian style, wakka wakka! (Post-ending: Redux version only) YAMI: Wait a minute, did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn? KAIBA: Yeah, so? YAMI: That's against the rules, isn't it? KAIBA: Yes it is. (giggles) 1x01